I come from a third world country.  Life was simple there. No hot showers.  Because money was, and still is, scarce over there, the valuable things were not something one could buy from the store. Credit scores, life insurance, flood insurance are unheard of.   You are blessed if you are able to eat three meals a day, when you have good health, a roof over your head, a family that loves you.  It has been five years since i left my country to follow a calling that Big J has placed in my life.  I went off with high hopes thinking, wow, God is going to bless me immensely and everything will be smooth sailing.  I will be the best witness to Big J this world has known.  I'm such a Peter.  I jumped off the boat and walked on water and then realized that i didn't have enough faith and started sinking.  And i denied Big J, not once, not twice, but several times with my lifestyle.  And you would say, how can you do that?  And i don't have an answer.  But at the same time, those Peter highs and Peter lows, made me realize the immense love of Big J. No height no dephth could separate me, could separate you,  from the love of God.  And Big J continues to reassure me of his love, of his grace and it is true, that a thousand may fall at my side, ten thousand by my right, but it will not come near me... That those God has loved and called, He has and will always protect. 
  I realized that as much as God has a plan for us, the enemy also has one.  But all things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.  You see, I received grace unconditional, and though it wasn't an overnight thing, he slowly taught me, slowly and lovingly corrected my ways, he still does, and there's not a day i am not grateful for it. 
  I ended up in Alabama, of all places.   The big city girl that thrives on noise and bright lights, Big J brought to the country.  Where people like Reba something and Tim McGraw reigns.  And also football reigns.  And i met fellow lovers of Big J, fellow recipients of grace whose life touched mine in ways they could never imagine.  God's hand was on this move.   Just few weeks ago i went with them for a medical mission in central america.  How people accustomed to hot showers, clean drinking water and comfortable beds, could go out to serve and be out of their comfort zone , humbled me.   When i was living back in the philippines, i remember meeting american missionaries and how they helped some of my country men, but it is only now i realize what sacrifice they do.  And isn't that what Big J did, only one gazillion times more?  He left HIs kingdom to go to a place, but he went there not with the intention of staying for just a week, he went there with intention to stay and die for a race that would mock him, taunt him and ridicule him.  So that one day when people do realize what He did, and believe in what He did, they could have a different life, in a different place.  He not only promised a place free of malaria, but he promised streets of gold, he not only promised joy, but promised there will be no more tears.  I cannot wait to see my Big J one day and hug Him.  Because my life was nothing before I met Him.  And He loved me, He loves me, in ways i cannot explain.  And i could only pay it forward.  Who am I to not love the people that my Big J loves so much?  May I be in tune with his heartbeat, and may i see what He sees.