a time to be born and a time to die.

What do you write when you feel like you are in the middle of the desert?

I tried to rationalize but it just wouldn't be rationalized.

I need a parent.

I need someone who would tell me, you are over the top crazy.  Stop making rash decisions.

Then again we are all products of our past.  Like ghosts that haunted mister scrooge, we are scared of the air before us, we see something others don't. And it scares us.  Can't love too much. Can't laugh too much. 

So like Solomon i try to taste everything.  And i see that everything is good.  And that everything is bad.  Throughout this, i still keep my sanity.  I drink of this cup which drives the world crazy.  And i feel good but i still don't get it.

I am, through the eyes of this world, have succeeded.

A doctor.

A beloved daughter, sister and master of a dog named frankie.

A job that pays well enough for me to travel to whichever part of the world i so desire.

I am well liked, well esteemed, and  respected among my peers.

Admirers come, suitors come in abundance.

I say this not of arrogance but to tell you where i am coming from.


And i say this - it's still not enough.
You could accumulate all the earthly fame, riches and beauty and still it won't be enough. 

I have come to the conclusion that it's God.  God who fulfills me.  That everything begins and ends with God.  I write this as my ecclesiastes.  You could toil all you want, buy all the gadgets you want, but it won't fulfill you. 

I write because all the riches of this world, will never compare to Big J.