Back to the future

You make me happy .  You make me feel the way I do.  You make me happy , i wanna make you happy too.  You make me happy.  I wish the whole world knew you too.  Singing lalalalalala......

No i cannot count the ways you have made my life so blessed....
All i know is that you came and made beauty of my mess....

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Dear Nine Year Old Cheen,

Countless times you have written to your older self.  Telling her to stick to her ideals.  To her values.  To laugh often, to hope always and to smile always.  Can twenty nine year old Cheen , write back to you and encourage you?  I know what you are dealing with.  The endless cries , the tear stained pillows, the covering of ears to drown the nasty words hurled, the fear, the heavy burden on your shoulders... I know because I've been there.  I wish i could have spared you, like i tried to spare my younger sisters from the problems.  But you had the unfortunate luck of having a heart that never tires to correct, to protect, and to love.  Your heart always get beaten up, it's too soft, and too stubborn. 

You will ask, one of these days, whether there's someone who could help you out.  You will feel so alone. Hang in there.  When you are fourteen, you will meet a man whose eyes sparkle of hope, whose heart is full of joy and he will tell you why.  Why in spite of his poverty, he is rich.  He will point you to your Maker, to your Best Friend, to your Savior.  At fourteen, you will decide to follow this Savior.  His name, you'll later learn to be Big J.  You will realize that he was always there for you.  And He will lead you to paths you've never known.  Follow him.  Faithfully.  There will be times you will get lost, but carry on.  Call on Him, and He will answer you.  He will take you to places people said you could never get into.  He will shower you with His love and through you, blessings would come to other people.  Your kid sister who you love would be blessed through you.  It's going to be one heck of a ride but listen to him.  He has your back.  You may think you have a heart of fear, but one day, one day you'll wake up, you'll look at the mirror and all you'll see is a heart who is as brave as a lion but as gentle as a dove. 

Hang in there Cheen.  You have been marked.  You have been spoken for.  Your name is written in the palms of the Savior.  His tears, and his prayers, and his angels are all for you. 

Believe me.  Would i lie to you?

Your, twenty nine year old self,
Cheen