Oh my. People tell other people. I have met the most amazing person. He is this. He is that. He is the one for me. Several months later, they break up and then they have nothing to say except that the person toppled Satan for highest position down under. They post bulletins at facebook or friendster, making reference to the person who betrayed them. Surely there was love once upon a time.
How can people say I do one day and then sign the divorce papers several years down the road?
I don't know the answers to this.
All i know is i have a story to tell.
If you know me, you'd know my adventures with regards to the love arena.
There were different stories, different characters, different genres. May young love sweet love, may grey's anatomy. I use the term loves to mean what the world means by it. You know, cupid, crushes, handsome guys, gorgeous guys, poetic and brooding guys winking. I never really had a serious declared relationship until of recent months. Oh my. I have met the most amazing person, I told everybody. I have high standards - christian, loves family, has a strong character, must be kind, loves kids, loves dogs and also, good looks. I apparently hit the jackpot and met someone who thinks I am great. Unfortunately, when i said christian, i meant, he must love God more than me.
No compromise. Several years ago, when i met Big J, that was my deal with him.
During my stay here in cold cold US, i dwindled down on the fire. I am a christian of course, but just losing fire, losing passion. I wasn't getting directions from Big J. I just felt like okay Big J sent me here and maybe that is all. The directions would be up to me. So instead of listening to my GPS (Big J), i got a map and decided to read it myself.
I have a problem telling which one is right and which one is left. Apparently this contributes to sucking at map reading.
So what does one do when you notice that you are far off and yet too proud to admit you are lost? You start doing things based on memory. This used to work, maybe if i do this, then i'll get here, if i don't do this, then i will not get here. Sounds familiar?
Yes i traded my relationship with Big J for religion.
I wasn't hearing Big J. I knew i was reading the map wrong, but i felt like i could do it. Maybe sunday church? Maybe carrying a bible highlighted by different colored markers could do the trick? I used to go places, but now where am I? People think i have everything, but truth be told, i was losing the one thing that really defined me - my relationship with Big J. Life got in the way. Too many deadlines. Too many pesky patients. Too many negative people. Too many bloodsuckers that took advantage of me. I wanted my heart to stop loving the people because it was too painful. But who was I to make that decision when i follow Big J, the author of love?
And then i met Abe. Abe who reminded me so much of myself. His optimism, his tender heart, him helping people out even when it inconvenienced him. Dear Abe who unknowingly held a mirror in front of me. And i love him. And he loves me.
The trouble was, at one point in our lives, we both promised that God will be first and that in our relationship, Big J will be involved.
But how can I involve Big J when i myself turned to religion?
And so, we had a struggle. Details of which shall remain undisclosed. Enough to say that if we were to see a future together, we had to first give each other up and focus on Big J and being the salt and the light of this earth. As much as i love abe, i knew deep down, that i love him that much to give him up to Big J. And so today, I threw my map away and am turning the GPS on. He is also doing the same. Me and Abe will be riding separate cars but we will both be punching in the same direction - towards Big J.
People will think that the decision we've made was crazy. We never had a fight, we gel too much, we are each other's best friend. But we follow a different drumbeat.
Citizens of heaven make decisions which sound crazy to earth people.
Think about it. Decades on earth versus eternity.
Tune in to my blogs to read more about this crazy exhilirating thing called faith and this most awesome guy that ever walked this earth - Big J. Who knows, maybe if we fast forward this blog, i'll write about getting off the car and reaching the beginning of one of many adventures with Abe.
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Questions a Girl Should Ask
Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgement and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? As a disciple of Christ, she is not her own; she has been bought with a price. Can she honour the Saviour's claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy?
These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.
Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? will it increase my love for God? and will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward.
True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections, Has my lover love his mother? What is the stamp of her character? Does he recognise his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness? If he does not respect and honour his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife? When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them.
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring and honest, one who loves and fears God.
Who are you? I feel like sometimes, the people who leave comments must be angels who somehow managed to access internet in heaven or something. They do DSL over there? Thank you so much. What? Marriage? Hahaha, you guys are crazy... This is louise by the way, author of this blog.
Dear Louise,
We haven't met, but your writings convey a sincere desire to follow God all the way thru. I had given comments before, mostly spiritual advices,since you started your residency training. The one above was from the writing of an inspired christian author penned several decades ago. It can be applied not only to marriage, but to any other romantic intimate relationship.
God had given you an opportunity to train in the US for a purpose. Just like Queen Esther, "who knows whether you came to the kingdom for such a time as this?"(Esther 4:11). My hope for you is that you will not turn to the right or the left, but continue on the narrow straight path. Jesus is coming soon, the events around us tell us so, and we must tell others about Him.Yes, this little light of ours were going to let it shine!
In Christ,
Your Anonymous friend
Dear Louise,
We haven't met, but your writings convey a sincere desire to follow God all the way thru. I had given comments before, mostly spiritual advices,since you started your residency training. The one above was from the writing of an inspired christian author penned several decades ago. It can be applied not only to marriage, but to any other romantic intimate relationship.
God had given you an opportunity to train in the US for a purpose. Just like Queen Esther, "who knows whether you came to the kingdom for such a time as this?"(Esther 4:11). My hope for you is that you will not turn to the right or the left, but continue on the narrow straight path. Jesus is coming soon, the events around us tell us so, and we must tell others about Him.Yes, this little light of ours were going to let it shine!
In Christ,
Your Anonymous friend
When Love is Blind
Two persons become acquainted; they are infatuated with each other, and their whole attention is absorbed. Reason is blinded, and judgement is overthrown. They will not submit to any advice or control, but insist on having their own way, regardless of consequence.
Like some epidemic, or contagion, that must run its course, is the infatuation that possesses them; and there seems to be no such thing as putting a stop to it.
Perhaps there are those around them who realise that, should the parties interested be united in marriage, it could only result in life-long unhappiness. But entreaties and exhortations are given in vain. Perhaps, by such a union, the usefulness of one whom God would bless in His service will be crippled and destroyed; but reasoning and persuasion are alike unheeded.
All that can be said by men and women of experience proves ineffectual; it is powerless to change the decision to which their desires have led them. They lose interest in everything that pertains to religion. They are wholly infatuated with each other, and the duties of life are neglected, as if they were matters of little concern.
The good name of honour is sacrificed under the spell of this infatuation, and the marriage of such persons cannot be solemnised under the approval of God. They are married because passion moved them, and when the novelty of the affair is over, they will begin to realise what they have done. In six months after the vows are spoken, their sentiments toward each other have undergone a change. Each has learned in married life more of the character of the companion chosen. Each discovers imperfections that, during the blindness and folly of their former association were not apparent. The promises at the altar do not bind them together. In consequence of hasty marriages, even among the professed people of God, there are separations, divorces, and great confusion in the church.
When it is too late, they find that they have made a mistake, and have imperilled their happiness in this life and the salvation of their souls. They would not admit that any one knew anything about the matter but themselves, when if counsel had been received, they might have saved themselves years of anxiety and sorrow.
But advice is only thrown away on those who are determined to have their own way. Passion carries such individuals over every barrier that reason and judgement can interpose.
Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly.
Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in the world to come.
A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for Himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not Himself.
I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections.
If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course.
If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgement, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counsellor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life.
Instituted by God, marriage is a sacred ordinance and should never be entered upon in a spirit of selfishness. Those who contemplate this step should solemnly and prayerfully consider its importance and seek divine counsel that they may know whether they are pursuing a course in harmony with the will of God.
The instruction given in God's word on this point should be carefully considered. Heaven looks with pleasure upon a marriage formed with an earnest desire to conform to the directions given in the Scripture.
Broken Engagements
Even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect.
Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.
Okay clarification please. This is louise... Grabe... who is talking about marriage? Saan nanggaling ito? I mean i'm not suggesting it nor am i closing it but it's too early to consider those stuff!
you are crazy! interestingly, fascinatingly, adorably, amazingly, crazy. that's what so attractive about you - your faith, your craziness. don't get me wrong it's not romantic. haha
- guy in skinny jeans sitting 10,000 miles across the globe.
i dropped out of the race momentarily, only to find out i missed out on someone i would have willingly rearranged my priorities to be with.
guy in skinny jeans aka cito roman right? kainis ka! you should have at least showed up at my door, knocked and dragged me to have coffee. busy ka busy ako... oh well it's good to know you are wearing skinny jeans or that you could fit in it. i had to laugh when you said i was crazy, and that you had to say it wasn't romatic. That is funny. Disclaimer. I am crazy and i am no saint. I stumble and I fall but He just keeps dusting me off, telling me to run. Like a little kid who already has wounded knees, I sometimes tell Big J i don't want to run anymore, it hurts too much, but like a good parent, he wipes away my tears, removes the dust off my face and tells me i can do it, that he will see me through it. I don't want you to think c2 that i have humongous faith. Inside, i'm still a kid who is scared but i go on, with all my open wounds and scars and imperfections, because in my heart, i see love cheering me on.
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