After having strawberry shortcake at a new found friend's house, I was asking Big J this question - Why me Lord?
I wouldn't pick me. Why would you pick me? Why do you keep pursuing me with your love? Why do you bless me so much?
I have, for the past couple of days, been going through stuff that was essentially me seeing how much of a race i still have to run, and evaluating whether i could have a second wind or something. And God has been really good. He brought people into my life, He spoke to me, and most of all when I was ready to give up on me, He said He wasn't through with me yet.
I wouldn't pick me Lord.
I am stubborn. I shy away from anything church-ly, I tend to be a lot of things.
I'm warning you Big J, I'm not the perfect candidate.
If you are calling, i don't fit the job description.
But do you love me? was God's question to me.
So while i was driving my fancy yellow car, I had to stiffle a cry.
Because I may be all things, I may be a misfit, I may be ungraceful and hard headed, but if there's one thing I know, it's that I do love God.
Good. That's all i want to know. I felt that is what He was telling me. Oh and by the way, do you remember those people I called?
The murderer who led the Hebrews out of Egypt.
The deceiver who stole from his father who sired a great nation.
The prostitute who will later on become a grand grand grandmother to a savior.
The king who murdered somebody to steal his wife.
The disciple who cut off somebody's ear and denied knowing me.
They all loved Big J.
I did not do anything to deserve His love. And I guess that's the issue. Somewhere, in my proud heart, I want to hear that maybe I did something to deserve His love. But you know what , everything I do, it's more of a testimony of how much I don't deserve His love.
But I am loved. I am continually being pursued by a God who loves me so much He died that I may one day write about this - that I know what it means to be loved. That maybe people who don't think they deserve love would realize that they are loved with the same amount of passion God loves me. His love saved me in more ways i could ever think of. He is my best friend, the wiper of my tears, my Shepherd, my Lord. And no I am not talking about going to church or carrying the heaviest Bible and carrying a cross / statue around and not wearing mini skirts kind of Christianity.
I'm talking about Christ. Big J. Who is into my day to day things.
Who provides for me.
Who tells me where to go .
Who sends people my way when i need them.
Who speaks to me, via the Bible, via the people he sends, via the internet, via the billboard, via the sunrise, via the sunsets.
Who tells me that I am loved. And that he will keep proving that to me over and over again. That if his act on the cross did not convince me enough, that he has other stuff up his sleeves to convince me.
I am pursued, And i don't deserve it. But i guess, judging from the kind of people Big J pursued, I fit the type.
3 comments:
“It is impossible for us, of ourselves, to escape from the pit of sin in which we are sunken. Our hearts are evil, and we cannot change them. "Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? not one." "The carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be." Job 14:4; Romans 8:7. Educations, culture, the exercise of the will, human effort, all have their proper sphere, but here they are powerless. They may produce an outward correctness of behaviour, but they cannot change the heart; they cannot purify the springs of life. There must be a power working from within, a new life from above, before men can be changed from sin to holiness. That power is Christ. His grace alone can quicken the lifeless faculties of the soul, and attract it to God, to holiness.
It is not enough to perceive the loving-kindness of God, to see the benevolence, the fatherly tenderness, of His character. It is not enough to discern the wisdom and justice of His law, to see that it is founded upon the eternal principle of love. Paul the apostle saw all this when he exclaimed, "I consent unto the law that it is good." "The law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good." But he added, in the bitterness of his soul-anguish and despair, "I am carnal, sold under sin." Romans 7:16, 12, 14. He longed for the purity, the righteousness, to which in himself he was powerless to attain, and cried out, "O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death?" Romans 7:24. Such is the cry that has gone up from burdened hearts in all lands and in all ages. To all, there is but one answer, "Behold the Lamb of God, which takes away the sin of the world." John 1:29.
The heart of God yearns over His earthly children with a love stronger than death. In giving up His Son, He has poured out to us all heaven in one gift. The Saviour's life and death and intercession, the ministry of angels, the pleading of the Spirit, the Father working above and through all, the unceasing interest of heavenly beings,--all are enlisted in behalf of man's redemption.
Oh, let us contemplate the amazing sacrifice that has been made for us! Let us try to appreciate the labour and energy that Heaven is expending to reclaim the lost, and bring them back to the Father's house. Motives stronger, and agencies more powerful, could never be brought into operation; the exceeding rewards for right-doing, the enjoyment of heaven, the society of the angels, the communion and love of God and His Son, the elevation and extension of all our powers throughout eternal ages--are these not mighty incentives and encouragements to urge us to give the heart's loving service to our Creator and Redeemer?”
Continue on Louise, “His grace is sufficient for you”!
“It is impossible for us, of ourselves, to escape from the pit of sin in which we are sunken. Our hearts are evil, and we cannot change them. "Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? not one." "The carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be." Job 14:4; Romans 8:7. Educations, culture, the exercise of the will, human effort, all have their proper sphere, but here they are powerless. They may produce an outward correctness of behaviour, but they cannot change the heart; they cannot purify the springs of life. There must be a power working from within, a new life from above, before men can be changed from sin to holiness. That power is Christ. His grace alone can quicken the lifeless faculties of the soul, and attract it to God, to holiness.
It is not enough to perceive the loving-kindness of God, to see the benevolence, the fatherly tenderness, of His character. It is not enough to discern the wisdom and justice of His law, to see that it is founded upon the eternal principle of love. Paul the apostle saw all this when he exclaimed, "I consent unto the law that it is good." "The law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good." But he added, in the bitterness of his soul-anguish and despair, "I am carnal, sold under sin." Romans 7:16, 12, 14. He longed for the purity, the righteousness, to which in himself he was powerless to attain, and cried out, "O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death?" Romans 7:24. Such is the cry that has gone up from burdened hearts in all lands and in all ages. To all, there is but one answer, "Behold the Lamb of God, which takes away the sin of the world." John 1:29.
The heart of God yearns over His earthly children with a love stronger than death. In giving up His Son, He has poured out to us all heaven in one gift. The Saviour's life and death and intercession, the ministry of angels, the pleading of the Spirit, the Father working above and through all, the unceasing interest of heavenly beings,--all are enlisted in behalf of man's redemption.
Oh, let us contemplate the amazing sacrifice that has been made for us! Let us try to appreciate the labour and energy that Heaven is expending to reclaim the lost, and bring them back to the Father's house. Motives stronger, and agencies more powerful, could never be brought into operation; the exceeding rewards for right-doing, the enjoyment of heaven, the society of the angels, the communion and love of God and His Son, the elevation and extension of all our powers throughout eternal ages--are these not mighty incentives and encouragements to urge us to give the heart's loving service to our Creator and Redeemer?”
Continue on Louise, “His grace is sufficient for you”!
Those words could have come right out of my mouth. Thanks for writing them.
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