Has it been that long since i haven't blogged?
A lot of stuff has been happening. Details of which i would leave to the reader's imagination as I am not that comfortable disclosing it. I'll touch on it briefly but let me just say that for the past couple of weeks, I was in a roller coaster ride. It was a great battle between my will and Big J's will. My love for Christ versus reality. Well actually, it was a battle between reality and what i stubbornly referred to as real, tangible, and uhmmm crunchy. Crunchy like the fruit in the middle of the garden of Eden.
Why not taste it?
Argh.
One bite apparently would keep you wanting more. Like opening a can of Pringles. Like opening that box Pandora should never have opened in the first place. But there was that last bird that flew - hope. There was that promise of crushing the serpent. There was real love in the end.
The problem with me, and for my own comfort zone, i would dare extrapolate this to other Christians trying to walk the walk, is not the "christian" label. It's the ALIEN label. It's accepting the fact that you are now a citizen of heaven, not of earth, that your mindset is not of this world but that of heaven's.
I exercise three times a week, but i eat junk food. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that i just negate whatever good exercise does to my body by what i eat. It's futile. And if i want to achieve results, i should totally stop junk food. I grabbed some junk food because it tastes so good. Because i reasoned, it satisfies my craving. Who would say no to double dutch chocolate cheesecake and whipped frappuccino?
All the while Big J is in the kitchen hollering to me, hold on! hold on! I'm baking you something really good, don't spoil your appetite by eating that. I can't help it. It looked so good, and I reached for it. Don't care. Don't care. I'll do it my way, and maybe, I'll luck out. Luck out? Luck out? Who is that girl talking?
It was poison. Sweet poison.
Yikes Big J, quick an antidote.
And now I'm here, recuperating. I'm not going to pretend I don't fall, that's why i write these stuff. But the thing is, God's love makes sure that i fall into his arms. And he chastises me. When are you going to learn heaven's culture? When are you going to start living the life you were created to live?
Like Meredith Grey's line to McDreamy, God tells me - choose me, love me.
I was so busy looking back that I nearly turned into a pillar of salt. Things like I'm ten thousand miles away, i don't have my friends here, I don't have blah blah blah. That i forgot who called me to come here, why i was here. Better to be in egypt mentality than go through this stupid desert.
Choose now, joshua asks.
Choose now.
i'm weak.
I need your strength Big J. And sure enough, I feel winged companions nurse my wounds. While walking towards my apartment a while ago, I felt a tug in my heart. That people were praying for me and that angels are being sent my way to help me and guide me. So thank you. Strength is provided in this journey. Five months into this... big test. But i think i passed. Limping but moving.
Christianity should never be defined by what you are running away from, but from what you are running towards to.
2 comments:
Greetings!
Nothing compares to the promise we have in Jesus.
Not even a fair headed boy with aquiline nose.
JC Penney (of the famous JC Penney brand) was hospitalized in a Christian hospital in the late 1800’s. Depressed and forlorn, he was about to give up, when one day he woke up to the wonderful voices singing in the hospital lobby. He crept in and heard this line “God will take care of you, don’t be afraid, God will take care of you”!
To you Loislane, God will take care of you! There are only 2 immutable things in the whole universe- God does not lie and He is always true to His promises (Hebrews 6: 18).
And there are only two instances in the spectrum of time and eternity when He wrote with his fingers-when He wrote in the tablet of stones His Laws- the 10 commandments (Exodus 20) and when he wrote in the dust the sins of the people who are about to stone the woman caught in the act of adultery. Meaning, His Law is eternal but our sins he writes in the dust to be swept away by the wind if we give ourselves to him!
Yes, Heaven’s culture, how can we learn it? So true! We feel like an ALIEN in this world- a Christian thought and actuations are so counter to the current culture.
Generations of God’s children had felt that way –“but having seen the promises of God, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on earth”(Hebrews 11: 13).
The greatest battle in the world is the battle against self! The surrender of self to God often requires an intense struggle-His will against our stubborn will. He never forces His way on anybody- He is the still small voice whispering-“ this is the right path, walk on it.”
Through it all, God sees the end from the beginning and His way is always the best.
Making the Word of God as your rule in life and staying close to Jesus –you will succeed!
Spend more time with Jesus in reading His word and you will exponentially grow in the knowledge of Him. It’s a pity that we can read the voluminous writings of Braunwald from cover to cover but a chapter in the Bible we cannot recall in our mind. If we don’t know the textbook of Christianity, how can we grow?
Lastly, continue with your walk with Jesus. I’d like to share to you the beautiful lyrics of this song, which had brought comfort to me in my times of difficulty:
“My Jesus, My Saviour,
Lord there is no one like you,
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love.
My comfort, my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You.
Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing,
Power and majesty, praise to the King!
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar,
At the sound of your name!
I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I'll love you, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.”
i am curious. who is this? is this my friend from church or is this eichelle?
I'm sorry but you have been a blessing. I need to know who to thank.
IT is a struggle, but no regrets. Sometimes when we ask for courage, God gives us the opportunity to awaken the lion in us. Getting there...
Cheen
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