I was at the cafeteria of the hospital getting my dinner. The plan was to get all those veggies and cook them at home, mongolian barbecue style. Let's see... Carrots... corn... brocolli... cauliflower... mushrooms.... shrimp... squid... chicken.... Rice... that would be perfect. I thought. I just bought an espresso machine and was quite looking forward to playing with it.
Hola Olga. I greeted the spanish speaking cashier at the hospital. Lately she would always be seen wearing this fancy big christmas tree brooch that lights up and this big smile for everyone. Ensalada... cafe... She says.
As she hands me the receipt, i say gracias. And as i turn around, i bump into, mcdreamy or mcnightmare. He flashes me this smile and i politely smile and say "hey" (flash: renee in jerry maguire - and all i could say was hello) as i walk , fastly towards the coffee shop, and he towards the cafeteria.
It took a million years for the barista to prepare my iced latte with extra shot of espresso.
I stared down at my shoes. But my gaze would turn peripheral from time to time. I hope Chase would come and knock some sense into me. Too bad, he was inside the physician's room getting some sign off for the patients. Come on come on, give me my coffee... Five hundred ten thousand minutes... it felt like. Strength not to melt. Resolve. I am capable of that.
One iced latte with extra shot of espresso! Yelled the half african, half korean barista. Quickly i grabbed it and made my way to one corner of the canteen. I pretended to study, but who could study? I needed to straighten things out, be graceful, careful not to say things i would regret. I ran erwin's advice over and over my head, kaya nga ang ulo nasa taas. Gamitin ang utak.
PRactice lines.
Chase comes over. He saw mcnightmare slash mcdreamy in the cafe. He asks me whether i wanted company. I told him, no i need to do this today. I can't keep procastinating. He laughs and taps my head with a water bottle. You can do it. Be cool. He waves me goodbye and tells me he is off to the gym and that if i so wanted to talk, he'll drop by my place tonight.
Thirty seconds after chase leaves, i decided, i can't do this. Might as well pretend to be invisible and hope mcnightmare doesn't see me. Oh no, i'm not wonder woman! I see him pass by me, and i said, safe... then i see him walk towards me. Paralyzed!
I really don't like these complications.
He smiles and says, i just wanted to say hi.
Well, consider your greeting noted. I said.
... blurred conversation here.
Glad to see you are alive. Madapa ka sana. Or stay. Or leave. No stay. No leave. Argh.
I grab my jacket and started to leave instead.
What is it that you wanted to say? He asks.
It will take more than fifteen seconds to say it. I swear i need more practice.
Fight your secret wars, i said.
Secret wars? He laughed. What do you mean.
You know what i mean. Nauubos na english ko. Kaya puro standard "you know". joke joke.
I thought i wasn't stepping on anybody's toes. Turns out i was.
It's complicated.
uncomplicate it then.
You weren't. It's complicated. I don't know. Give me a chance to explain. But not today. Ano ito, ano ka mcdreamy? Ano ako meredith? Ano siya, si allison? i'll not say choose me, love me. It will be a cold day in you know where before i say that.
I'm a good person. My castle will never be built over the ruins of others.
Grace under fire. Smile. Deadma. Let's stop it at Godfather 1.
Well, godfather 2 is the best part of the series.
If godfather 1 was total lie, it's baseless to look forward to the second part.
I'll explain everything. And for the first time, i saw a look of exasperation cross over his face. If this was being filmed, that would be the part na slow motion, tapos mag flash back with matching the fray na kanta. I hung my head on one side and thought, magdusa ka gladys reyes. Babangon ako at dudurugin kita... bituing walang ningning... joke.
Something tells me, there's a continuation to this story. I'm just happy that these days, Big J had been guiding me really well and i've made it a point to stick to his side. And wait.
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