Forgetting God's will in my Life

That is a funny statement.  In this day and age of ipad Christianity where one touch instantly gives you a different version of the Bible, to say this forgetting God’s Will in my Life is ridiculous.  But that is what the author of Crazy Love proposed.

Crazy idea.  I always thought that God has a purpose in every Christian’s life.  To be more personal, for my life. I fancy myself as this Charles X Xavier Christian, you know that type, one that makes Peter look like a weakling.  A super hero Christian, preferably in a costume that shows off my p90x body and with a smile whitened by Crest strips.   To have the world applaud me like they do Billy Graham.  Or to have millions buy your CD’s like Christ Tomlin’s. Or be as insightful as Joshua Harris.  

There you go, my purpose, my fantasy of being a super Christian. 

This crazy love book challenges me in ways I can not begin to tell you.  It challenged me to write again, to question myself again, and to ask me, in the height of my success, in the jetsetting life I have made of myself to ask who I am.  I am a doctor. I make money. Tons of them. My patients love me.  I love my patients.  I have a boyfriend who adores me. I adore my boyfriend. I love my family, I support them like any good daughter would, why then, why then do I have a gnawing feeling that this is not enough?

Because in my fantasy of being a super Christian, there lies the problem – I want to be a super Christian.  I do not want Christ to be super in my life. I want to be a super Christian.  And when I do think about it, I spend too much time daydreaming of the day I will be the next “It girl” of Christian world. 

All I can say is – I suck.

The book calls for  letting God show you His will in the next ten minutes of your life, and how you should listen and obey.  And to be quite honest, God really didn’t give Moses, or Joseph a five year plan.  Jeez I have those.  He gave them commandments to follow.  Follow me. Leave this place.  Drink this, not that.  I tend to, for the most part , do not like to get into the details but would rather just think of the future and how magically, I mean , miraculously, everything would fall into its proper place.  I had a major jolt today and realized I have lived quite valley girlish in that regard.

So follow me on this journey of letting go of my fantasies and following him for the next ten minutes.

My plane is making a touchdown to Atlanta now.  I need to close this laptop.