ninety miles into kalamazoo

Wait passionately for God,
don't leave the path.
He'll give you your place in the sun ..


That's the thirty seventh psalm of David from this cool translation, the message bible. I had to paste that in here as this is the first time i've heard of such translation. Waiting passionately. How does one do it? As my bestfriend Majo would often tell me, ang OA naman.

I think i've beaten this topic already several times. So i won't dwell on it. I guess i just want to remind some readers who might stumble on this post that as sure as God wants us on this path, there are external forces that wants us to "passionately get off the path". It's a tug of war.

the man versus himself is always a good conflict. Hay. I could recall several times where i would just want to run off this path. I mean come on, it is easier to just not do the right thing. It is so easier to shrug my shoulders and plot revenge and don an all black leather costume with a whip. Hmmmm. Nice thought. I got lost, just side tracking a little bit, SJP does have great leather jackets and they were fifty percent off... Where was ? Oh yeah.

And yes, what's with this being salt and light of the earth? Can't we just be saved? You know flavorless and a little bit dull on the light side, but to have this burden of trying to change the flavor of the world, and becoming a guide for the lost? That's hard. And why choose salt? Why does it have to be something that needs to be under the sun for several hours or maybe days just so the water content would evaporate and all it leaves behind is salt? Why go through the process of being under the heat?

What about of being with the right person, of doing the right things, of loving from a pure heart, of protecting of not keeping a record of wrongs? How does that compare to say, the bachelorette? or big brother? The world seems to be okay with the concept of random hook ups and leaving pieces of your heart here and there and pretending that you are still okay. That everything is just a game of lust and whoever wears their heart on their sleeve looses. No such thing as 1 corinthians 13. That is so 2000 years ago right? I've been played on so lets start playing right?

And why help the broken hearted? More so, why love our enemies? Why wash the feet of those who claim to be our friends yet continue to doubt us and may at times, abandon us during times of trouble? Why go against the tide when it is easier to just let go and let it carry us?

But we are stolen.

We are captivated by this God.

Whose face we haven't seen but whose heart beats in our own heart.

Whose love protected us even before we knew of its existence, even after we've rejected its calling.

I'm crazy about Big J. Who is very patient with me, who continues to break me and mold me into the person I was originally intended to be. I keep telling him that this is how far I could go and He keeps telling, this is how far I could take you and this is how far you could go. My clumsy hands, he trains, my weak heart, he makes it beat more stronger, my eyes that i keep shutting close, he opens.

I don't think i could say that i have finished the race, if anything i'm still just on the starting lines, but i'm not going to leave this track field. I'm going to finish it, i dunno what's the prize, all i know is that at the end of this race, i'll see Him face to face, my helper, my best friend, the God of Jacob, the God of David, the God of Moses, my God will be there.