of these three...

I fidget with my ring that is on my left thumb. Almost twelve years ago, i also had a silver ring on the same place, it was my high school class ring. I lost that ring right after graduation. Eventually i graduated from being bedan to iskolar ng bayan to a thomasian, and now to michigan state university doctor. I didn't need any ring to define me, i kept changing titles. I would run out of fingers.

I don't like toe rings.

But this ring i wear now, on it the words faith, hope and love are written.

I got this from a conference i attended several days ago in kentucky.

You see i needed that conference.

I was getting to be jaded.

I tried my best to be the kid who wants to help people, who sees the good in people but it's an overwhelming battle.

How do you feel compassion for people who shoot drugs everday, who doesn't want to help themselves, who abuses other people, who abuses the system? And really, Big J, what do you mean by repaying evil with kindness? I started out trying to believe in the good in every people but there are times when , do you know this Big J, they do repay kindness with evil.

I know this to be painfully true. I know this because I have experienced it.

But the words of this person who died for me, the words of this person who knew this evil for kindness business, the words of the creator killed by the created, still rings - faith, hope and love.

And in kentucky, i came across people who despite everything, decided to love, to put their love into action and reach out to the poor. Doctors who could have chosen the easy life here in the US, but rather have chosen the road less travelled, and go serve the poor, being poor themselves.
In there i realized that love sometimes hurts, and love sometimes costs us. The battle cry of Big J.

I have, alluded from previous posts that when i started this adventure, that Big J asked for my heart and my dreams. Part of that dream was being a cardiologist. I just found myself being called to a different field, drawn to a different area i never thought I would be in. Big J in his mysterious ways was taking me on the high lands and showing me the path he wanted me to take, and it was exhilirating. I still don't have the specifics, but i know i need to be ready, and i'm not sure how i'm going to be ready, but i have to start somewhere.

Faith. Hope and Love.

That moment transformed me.

The eyes that were getting dim, suddenly could see again. The heart that stopped beating started thumping wildly again. And i was waking up to this new song, feeling this new breeze... I was me again, scarred, a little bit limping but still believing that lives could be changed, the past could be undone, that tears would someday dry up, and the dead, the dead could live again.

My name is cheen and i am unashamedly surrendered to Christ.