There I was, walking the hospital grounds, in my oversized white lab coat, stethoscope around my neck, five pound worth of books inside my pockets, a beeper strapped on my belt bag, a PDA stashed somewhere among the pockets, and a gazillion ballpens leaking and making tiny marks on the inside of my used-to-be-snow-white lab coat. I looked around. The sky was blue, and the surrounding was exactly what inspired karen carpenter to sing top of the world... not a cloud in the sky... IT was one of those moments that everything stops and you realize that you reached your dreams. Here, walking towards my patients, here looking at the helicopter that just landed carrying a patient in front of me while medics shouted something that sounded like dopamine... for roughly a quarter of a century, I had no idea that I would end up here.
Then Big J interrupts my thoughts and talks to me. This is not the point he says. Hu-what. I'm still actually trying to decipher that. What do you mean.
Before I came here, I knew God had a plan for my life. I knew God would see me through. I knew He would take me here, without any glitch. And He did. But all through that period, He had also been telling me that there's something in here,more than being a doctor in the land of lactose free milk and splenda that He wanted me to concentrate on. There are people to reach, and the money that I make here, the talent that I develop are not the endpoints. Then Big J comes and in five words summarizes the whole point of my faith, the whole point of following Him - "it is not about you." Simple words but i guess this is a stumbling block for many so called "christians". True chrisitianity is not about walking on your knees and uttering prayers , giving coins in a bag, lighting rainbow colored candles and carrying a bible on sundays. It's about being caught up in a perfect God who died for an imperfect me. It's about being totally sold out to Him that you want to be with Him, talk to Him and do whatever it takes to put a smile on His face. It's like , say if you so like uhmm, for lack of better example, if you like michael jackson, you can't help but do the moonwalk and wear white socks. So it is with true followers. It's more than a label. It's a lifestyle. It's a choice. It's becoming less of who we are now, and becoming more of who we were meant to be. Kind of like the story of the eagle who grew up with chickens. Sure the eagle knew he could fly, but he didn't know he could jump off the great canyon and soar. Chickens don't do that. Eagles do. We're all eagles who thinks we are chickens. It's high time to start becoming who we are. My point is -I'm still busy with looking at the world thru chicken eyes. Big J wants me to see the bigger picture. And the only way to do that is to fly high.
Whoo.
You see, I don't claim to be unselfish. I am selfish. I could be so selfish if Big J wouldn't keep reminding me. As I sit on the passenger seat and Big J drives, I get to realize that Big J loves me for who I am, but that he loves me too much to leave me to my own selfish ambitious nature. Oh believe me when I say i am competitive and ambitious, something Big J is working on.
I guess now is not a good time to bring up the topic that i just cooked sinigang sa miso.
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