One of those moments

It's not that i am having second thoughts. But it is human to feel this way i guess. Compound that with me receiving the doctor's manual and guidelines about a week or so ago from the US hospital, and then raymond lauchengco's "farewell to you my friends" song playing at the back of my mind.

Not to mention the hypertension we gave to our peers...

To be totally drama queenish about it - This is what I want, this is what I was called to do, this is the path I have to take, but it is just so hard to tell my left foot to go one step ahead of my right and start walking... away from everyone I love, from the places i love, from the beaches I cherish.

Farewell to you my friends, don't worry cause it's not the end of everything...

I started feeling this after the wedding of a friend when one of the persons there told me that she was so glad with the friendship we shared with so and so, and that she bets, I'll be sorry to leave them and miss out on all the fun. Hmmm. Thank you for pointing that one out. Maybe your finger should dig a little deeper to that wound, it's not hurting enough and not bleeding enough....

Then Dale and Jill and Ponce came to pick me up and i forgot how i missed their company. It's different from the company I've had for the past two years since i got out of the hospital. It's like watching a rerun of your favorite sitcom. IT never gets boring. I figured I could never bring everything back together, i might as well enjoy that moment. We spent half the day jumping up and down the trampoline , laughing like kids (from our point of view), laughing like idiots (from the onlookers point of view), eating like pigs, swimming, sunbathing and sleeping.

I may be ocean's away, but here is where my heart will stay...


The next day I went off to Bicol to look for adventure and to look for long lost friends. I found the adventures, but my latter objective, was a failure. I couldn't really find all of them. Pre friendster era pa kasi noon. I motorcycled to where my best friend allegedly lives, only to find out he wasn't there anymore. I asked for Mayet, a good friend of mine, but she wasn't there. So there I was, sitting near the breakwater, sipping my mango shake and that creeping feeling of leaving the Pacific for the Atlantic was tearing my heart into pieces.


IT's not that i don't want to go. I want to. IT's just scary and the way i'm coping up with it is just to have moments of silence. My fellow adventurers, Tintin and Kuya Lec proposed that when I have the time, we would ride the motorcycle and go around the whole province. I heard that the whole process takes three days. The plan is to just stop at a place where we know someone and we could then spend the night there. Okay, nice plan. I'm in. Got to start training for that in case they change motorcycling to biking.

So now, i'm just trying to enjoy the moment. I know that the more i enjoy the moment, the more I'm bound to miss it. But again, a fair trade off. Bring it on Raymond.