For the past couple of months, as much as it had been one exhilirating adventure for me, i believe it is better described as some sort of training by Big J.I feel like karate kid, and Big J is mister miyagi.
Some people come up to me and ask me what is the secret behind this. Why are you tight with the big man upstairs? How come your prayers are heard and answered?
I have no exact answer for this. I just know that around one and a half years ago, I did something completely different - I got on my knees and I told him, have your way in my life. And i meant it. And well you know what happened.
First he taught me He was in charge not only of me, but also of the affairs of other people. He gave me the visa to get here.
Then he taught me He is the Provider. He made a way for financial provision on everything. There's this guy somewhere in the bible who is the name sake of Elijah Wood, anyways, big J, during a famine, made a way for the ravens to bring him food. Big J is sending angels my way for that. And it is awesome. I mean how Lord of the Rings is that? Now if only the angels came in the likeness of Legolas...
Now, He is teaching me to listen for His directions. How?
So you heard about the hospital thing right, but after that, I still wanted to make sure. I still asked him for another sign that that is his will. I might be hearing him wrong. Sometimes I wish Big J would just drop a schedule on my lap with a things to do list. But I guess that is not how it works. I don't have to shave my head and starve myself to death just to hear you big J right? Because my hair is staying and my cookies and doritos and cheetos are going to my stomach.
So i told the man upstairs that before I would just make up plans and ask him to bless it. But now, He is telling me to seek His will and just do it. Not my will but His will. Which is hard because i don't see any "Letters to Louise" in the bible. On top of that, big J has been dealing a lot with my uhmm character flaws. Yes yes. Hard. He's been teaching me a lot for the past couple of months. And i write down insights or prayer items in a tiny notebook.
One thing i noticed on the hospital was that there was a nearby church in it whose ad captured my interest. I'm not a "churchy" kind of girl. You won't see me going everyday to church but i do know how important it is to be around people who hears from Big J also. Anyways, i looked it up on the internet and watched a random clip of its pastor preaching. I almost fell off my chair when the pastor started talking. He was talking about the EXACT things that God have been talking to me for my stay here in the US. There are a lot of topics in the Bible, and definitely a lot of verses. BUt the verses he used and the topics he used were exactly the same verses, the same topics that were in my notebook. It was like big J was saying, still want more confirmation or do i have to send fire down from heaven?
I gulped my starbucks double espresso and cream beverage (plugging! Two thumbs up starbucks). Okay Big J, I get it.
I'm not dense.
Take this turn?
Your will big J. You are my GPS.
2 comments:
Ate chin, you have no idea how much of an eye opener your blogs are.:) grabe, you've come so far and i'm just starting to out. some doctor/teachers have been really discouraging, making med seem like a dead end. i'm glad that you prove them otherwise. Super natuwa ako kasi for the past few weeks my prayer was similar to yours,"Have Your way...Your will not mine." God bless, ate! Continue to keep the faith! :)
hi eisa,
how's ate eichelle?
i'm glad this blog has at least helped you laugh, maybe at the thought of angels looking like legolas?
seriously, kahit sa ka magpunta, doctor or law or cpa or whatever, there will always be people who because they have given up on their dreams, on their idealism, lost their hope, who then lost their faith, who then lost their love for anything... try to realize they want you to be miserable too and to lose hope, faith and love. I'm not saying you stay away from them, i'm saying don't be affected by them. Counter their culture with your culture. Mapapagod ka (how encouraging ano), but nothing worth having is easy. It's your dream, don't let others tell you that it is your nightmare.
I'm not making any sense. I't 2:30 am and i am preparing a power point presentation for some lecture which (grrrrr) affected my beach plans.
Got to get some sleep.
god bless!
ate cheen
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