i am a bank

Being here in the united states, and being a doctor, i never realized how that would affect my relationships with other people.  When i graduated from medical school, some of my relatives stopped calling me by my first name, and maybe they meant well, but they started calling me doctor.  I'm their relative, why should they start calling me doctor?  All the time!  And instead of asking how i was, they started telling me about their blood pressure problems.  All of which are somewhat amusing, but sometimes, I miss being asked how I am, or at least being ignored.  A perfunctory smile is sometimes better than to have people flock you about nothing but medical questions.  It is not that i hate answering it, I am glad to help any way  I can, but there a few who I noticed warmed up to me because i am a doctor.  I hate that because for me, it meant that because of my status i deserved more attention, what about the others?  What about me in the past? 

Then there's the money issue.  I have no qualms providing for my parents and for the needed ones, like sending my sister to school, paying for her tuition.  But sometimes there are people around me that ask me like i am their personal ATM machine, an aunt who wants me to buy her son the plane tickets to go to the philippines and visit, worth roughly 150000 pesos and i could recount the countless times i would only be messaged by some family members because they needed something financially.  When i say family members, i mean not just immediate family members.

I feel so used up sometimes when these things happen. Yes i have money, but there's more to me than that.  I would love to spend time with you, chit chat, have a cup of coffee and laugh and let me get to know you and your needs and maybe i would give.  I guess this is how Big J feels about me when i don't talk to him and then just pray to him when i have some needs. I guess that is how it is going to be from now on, i represent a bank machine to some people.

There are times when i feel drained emotionally.  This is one of those moments.  A relative accused me of "changing" because i don't call her often.  But when i call her, all she does is bad mouths other relatives and then sometimes, asks me to lend her tons of money or co sign her credit cards.  Where do i begin with the heartaches she has unleashed on my life since i was here in the US?

I am ranting but i need to, otherwise i would randomly do karate chops in starbucks.