She's crazy. All she wants is morphine. That's why she's here.
And it's painful to start the day and start my day looking at her, when i know all she wants is morphine. My colleagues laugh. Yup she is crazy. Good luck on her. If i were the doctor, i would have a hard time as well. Nurses crack jokes. All true. All true. Fake smiles as we enter the door but as soon as the door closes we roll our eyes.
It was a perfectly normal reaction. Warranted i think. Justified.
Justified to whose eyes?
*
I greeted another patient's wife, a fifty year old woman, whose husband i was seeing for cancer related complications , when i bumped into her in the hallway.
I'm sorry i have met you under these circumstances, but the discharge papers are all ready and you guys are all set to go.
I was expecting her to say thank you and move along.
What she did was unexpected.
She hugged me, and kissed me on my cheeks and with tears welling on her eyes, looked at me and thanked me.
And that shook me. Because i remember back then that this very act was the exact reason i persisted in my training, why i did not quit medical school. As i bade goodbye to her, images of former patients who thanked me that way, came to mind. I needed that hug more than her. It was for her, for the sick people, for caring and not just throwing drugs at them that i came into this medical world. And several years later, i was slowly turning into someone who would roll her eyes once outside of the patient's doors.
No, i need to step on the brakes.
I will care more from now on.
Big J is telling me to spend more time with him, to surrender my life more and more so that others may live.
I need to be reminded. I need to have his eyes. I need to surrender. I need to think less of me because the only real way i could follow him, is that i completely lay my will, my heart, my id, ego and superego, down at his feet.
Be patient, i'm a work in progress.
I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl,And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world.But that's all right, as long as I can have one wish I pray:When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say,She's got her Father's eyes,Her Father's eyes;Eyes that find the good in things,When good is not around;Eyes that find the source of help,When help just can't be found;Eyes full of compassion,Seeing every pain;Knowing what you're going throughAnd feeling it the same.Just like my Father's eyes,My Father's eyes,My Father's eyes,Just like my Father's eyes.--AMy Grant --
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"To the physician also the Saviour's presence is an element of strength. Often the responsibilities and possibilities of his work bring dread upon the spirit. The feverishness of uncertainty and fear would make the hand unskillful. But the assurance that the divine Counselor is beside him, to guide and to sustain, imparts quietness and courage. The touch of Christ upon the physician's hand brings vitality, restfulness, confidence, and power.
When the crisis is safely passed, and success is apparent, let a few moments be spent with the patient in prayer. Give expression to your thankfulness for the life that has been spared. As words of gratitude flow from the patient to the physician, let the praise and thanksgiving be directed to God. Tell the patient his life has been spared because he was under the heavenly Physician's protection.
The physician who follows such a course is leading his patient to the One upon whom he is dependent for life, the One who can save to the uttermost all who come to Him.
Into the medical missionary work should be brought a deep yearning for souls. To the physician equally with the gospel minister is committed the highest trust ever committed to man. Whether he realizes it or not, every physician is entrusted with the cure of souls.
In their work of dealing with disease and death, physicians too often lose sight of the solemn realities of the future life. In their earnest effort to avert the peril of the body, they forget the peril of the soul. The one to whom they are ministering may be losing his hold on life. Its last opportunities are slipping from his grasp. This soul the physician must meet again at the judgment seat of Christ.
Often we miss the most precious blessings by neglecting to speak a word in season. If the golden opportunity is not watched for, it will be lost. At the bedside of the sick no word of creed or controversy should be spoken. Let the sufferer be pointed to the One who is willing to save all that come to Him in faith. Earnestly, tenderly strive to help the soul that is hovering between life and death.
The physician who knows that Christ is his personal Saviour, because he himself has been led to the Refuge, knows how to deal with the trembling, guilty, sin-sick souls who turn to him for help. He can respond to the inquiry, "What must I do to be saved?" He can tell the story of the Redeemer's love. He can speak from experience of the power of repentance and faith. In simple, earnest words he can present the soul's need to God in prayer and can encourage the sick one also to ask for and accept the mercy of the compassionate Saviour. As he thus ministers at the bedside of the sick, striving to speak words that will bring help and comfort, the Lord works with him and through him. As the mind of the sufferer is directed to the Saviour, the peace of Christ fills his heart, and the spiritual health that comes to him is used as the helping hand of God in restoring the health of the body.
In attending the sick, the physician will often find opportunity for ministering to the friends of the afflicted one. As they watch by the bed of suffering, feeling powerless to prevent one pang of anguish, their hearts are softened. Often grief concealed from others is expressed to the physician. Then is the opportunity to point these sorrowing ones to Him who has invited the weary and heavy-laden to come unto Him. Often prayer can be offered for and with them, presenting their needs to the Healer of all woes, the Soother of all sorrows. "
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