Sneak peek

My family left for the province to go to a beach up north, leaving me and frankie (the dog) alone. I was left behind because I was waiting for my US visa to be delivered. Good luck on the adventure of going to the beach I thought. My siblings went with the eldest, who is the exact opposite of me when it comes to adventures. It comes with the territory - eldest = responsible, no time to disappear for adventures, middle child = responsibility is optional, disappears for adventures.

I spent the weekend packing my things. I don't want anyone seeing the side of me pondering over whether i should bring all the letters i received from friends for the past decade. I keep those decade old letters because I believe we should never forget the friends we had when we were young. I reread the letters from midnight to dawn. It made me remember a lot of things. I congratulated myself for the friends I've had. As i was about to keep the old letters, my fingers felt a four year old letter, carefully folded and sitting at the bottom of the box.

I opened the letter and a wave of emotions came crashing again. I remember reading that letter again and again and again, hoping that what was written there wasn't true, won't be true, that in a couple of years, everything would work out. Well there I was, a couple of years later... Bitter laugh here. The letter was right. The only comfort I guess was that it was true. Whatever happened was more real than anything and there wasn't a single thing i regret, except maybe sitting there that night and packing with only two hands. Four years of college, five years of medical school, two years in the hospital and i have yet to find a drug to cure me de tu.
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I attended a seminar for J1 visa holders. One of the attendees asked about marrying an american and the visa implications. I felt uncomfortable. I will never marry for money, for visa... It's not right to take advantage. The decision to marry should be based on love.. even if i love that person I will still turn down such an offer.... Very tempting if that were the case but still wrong. Migraines here. Turned it down before and not planning to change my opinion on the matter. Hah. And look at me now, looking online for one bedroom apartments instead of moving into some place... Change topic.
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I'm applying online for apartments, also been calling some property managers, at the same time getting advice from a new-found-i-don't-know friend who grew up in that area. It's all good. I'm very particular. The prices range from 450 dollars to 700 dollars. My limit is 550 dollars and i think i found a very nice place online. I'm picky about two places in a house - bathroom and kitchen. I have a mental picture of what the place would look like. I don't like clutters, i like minimalistic feels and would be willing to sleep on the floor instead of having ugly furnitures.

Another thing i have to do is buy a car... Argh. Too expensive. I'm thinking of buying toyota yaris as so far it is the cheapest - about 15 thousand dollars... Ouch, i think my back just broke.